The Historian
by Squirrel No2
Summary: Katherine McIntire was sure that only this morning she had been cataloguing files for UNIT; now she's running through eighteenth-century Scotland in the company of two complete strangers, trying to avoid being killed by an alien who's convinced she's a fabled demon. And who is this Doctor that everyone but her has met? (First in "The Historian" series, hopefully.) No pairings.
1. Chapter 1

_AN: Hi, there, to everyone who thought that this was worth a try! First of all, thanks for your faith in my summary. :) This is the beginning of a (hopefully really long) series, and actually is one of about three in said series that will ever feature the Doctor himself. For the most part, I am exploring the lives of his companions, the inner workings and classified bits of UNIT, and an outsider's perspective of Torchwood.__  
__That being said, this is pretty much an OC story. The only pairings right now, though, are canon pairings. Currently, the number is 1: Martha/Mickey. Katherine is really just an excuse to examine the morally grey areas of the Doctor's life. I will do my best to make sure she doesn't overshadow the Doctor Who-y goodness that I'm trying to imbue in my stories. Feel free to scold me if I ever go too far into her story and neglect the others. Honestly, I probably will; I just hope by that point people will acccept her as a character in her own right._  
_In my brain, this is structured as a tv show, a spin-off series if you will. There will be major story arcs, and I plan on ending each 'season' with two (sometimes three) part stories._  
_Finally, timelines: Katherine is approximately in our modern times. The Doctor has made a stop here, getting into UNIT with Kate Stewart's assistance, for reasons which I may or may not reveal as I see fit; he has come from New York and his encounter with the angels, which is why he has issues. (I'd speak plainly, but you never know who's going to consider it spoilers!)_  
_Well, that's enough babbling! I swear, this is longer than the first chapter! (They will be longer; think of this as a teaser.)_

Katherine McIntire grinned with satisfaction as she catalogued the last record of UNIT's run-in with a supercomputer in the 1970's. Now for the hard part: figuring out what to link it to. She deftly flicked through the paper file, searching for keywords.

Her eyes paused at one word that had appeared numerous times as she'd worked her way steadily through the seventies.

_Doctor._

"Ok, that's it. Who is this guy?" she murmured, curious. At first, she'd though he was just some alien expert. Long-dead or retired UNIT employees weren't the sort of thing Katherine was meant to upload to the new system; they had no bearing on UNIT as it was now. But if this guy was so important to so many alien encounters... In any case, this time the word 'Doctor' had rung a metaphorical bell. Katherine typed furiously, trying to find any more recent mention of this man.

There was quite a bit from the seventies, she noted, and various individual incidents - "The Doctor Encounter of 1983" seemed notable, and Katherine thought that "The Dalek Invasion of 2009" sounded familiar as well - not to mention a personnel file created in 1970 or so. Frowning, Katherine opened it.

To the young woman's astonishment, multiple pictures came up, as well as the most blatantly obvious "Classified" notice she had ever seen. This "Doctor" couldn't possibly be one person. The pictures seemed to indicate that he grew younger as time passed - not to mention the fact that he seemed to possess a fondness for undergoing plastic surgery.

Katherine groaned aloud. "Brilliant," she muttered in a thick Scouse accent. "You couldn't just be some guy that just did a job and went home to his wife and kids, could you?"

Katherine wasn't good with computers. She could upload files and link them in the first place, but she wasn't very good at going through and editing previously added documents. On top of that, she didn't really have the security clearance necessary to do what she needed with the Doctor's file. She knew who to ask when this sort of thing occurred - Katherine just hated to ask.

Sighing, Katherine gave in and picked up the phone used for inter-office calls.

"Yeah, Mr. Smith? Mickey, could you help a girl out?" she said.

The answering groan made Katherine grin. "What is it now? I should've stuck with freelance work."

"Well, you're here now," Katherine replied. "Want to be magical and assist me? Computers are hard."

"I thought you were supposed to know how to do all of this," Mickey said as he worked his technological magic in his office. "Aren't you here because the generals all thought you were clever?"

Katherine laughed. "Oh, yeah, real clever, all right. But only with things that's thirty years old or older. History's my job, remember? It's about all I can do to turn this thing on."

"Maybe you'd better learn, then. It's not hard," Mickey told her. She heard a click, then the creak of a chair. "Done."

Katherine grinned, putting the file aside at last. "Thanks. I really owe you."

She went to hang up, but Mickey still had more to say. "Why were you looking at the Doctor, anyway?"

"I don't know, really. He pops up a lot, and I think I recognize the name. God only knows where from, though."

"Popping up is one way to put it," Mickey muttered. "Saves the world, steals your girlfriend... leaves again. I wouldn't be surprised if you'd run into him. I'm more surprised you don't remember."

There was a murmur, and Mickey answered in a muffled tone. Returning to the phone conversation, he said, "Well, you've got what you need. I've got to go."

"Bye -" Katherine began, but he'd already hung up, leaving her wondering, not for the first time, what exactly happened to most of the people in UNIT to get them here. Honestly, the strangest people she'd ever met were here, and she was once a performer in Seattle.

Not that it was any of her business. Katherine shook her head, trying to clear it of thoughts of aliens and mysterious, backwards-aging men, and picked up the next folder in her "to-do" pile.

The hum of the scanner soon drowned out her curiosity, lost to the monotone rhythm of an office life.


	2. Chapter 2

General Wilkins found Katherine at her desk, singing a song from an obscure musical as she waited for the latest file to load (these documents said something about dinosaurs in the streets of London – Katherine was starting to wonder about the sanity of UNIT officials).

"Miss McIntire, report to my office when you're done here," he commanded.

Glancing at the computer screen, she pressed a button and replied, "I'm done now, sir."

As he turned, Katherine stuck her tongue out and crossed her eyes. Following him out wearing a more usual expression, she muttered, "You'd think they'd learn by now that I'm not the military type."

When they reached General Wilkins' office, he ushered Katherine in and closed the door. Katherine took a quick look at the other occupants of the room and began to feel rather nervous. Two scientists, a soldier, and a medical doctor were gathered, each one staring critically at Katherine.

Of course, Katherine did know the doctor personally; she was Doctor Martha Smith-Jones, Mickey's wife, but the woman was respected by almost all of UNIT in spite of her youth and so-called "vacation" from military life. It was more than a little bit terrifying to be confronted with a stony-faced Martha in addition to various strangers.

Still, if it was something dire – like if they'd found out about Katherine's pet project – at least Martha was the nice type.

General Wilkins stood in front of Katherine as well, studying her. Finally he spoke, making the woman jump.

"Miss McIntire," he said. "You are aware that we brought you in due to your historical knowledge?"

"Of course. Though, to be frank, I'm not sure why. Even a monkey – well, maybe not a monkey, but you could certainly do my job, sir." Katherine squinted at the carpet. Was that a pattern of interlocking circles, or were they just really misshapen polka dots?

The general was clearly trying very hard not to pout. He had obviously expected Katherine to stand to attention, not start tap-dancing - which is what Katherine did next.

"There are reasons for your recruitment which we have not been at liberty to share with you," he continued gamely.

As Katherine worked her way through her time steps, she said, "Darn. Does that mean you're going to keep talking?" Out of the corner of her eye, Katherine could have sworn she saw an expression of delight cross the as-yet unnamed soldier's face.

General Wilkins' carefully smoothed features twitched, and not in the nice, smiley way, either.

"In the course of developing a new technology, it came to our attention that the operation of the equipment would require a more specialized skill set than those possessed by a soldier," one of the scientists said, clearly uneasy around an upset general.

Katherine thought about this. "So basically, you've finally figured out that soldiers are too dense to do anything but wave a gun around?"

General Wilkins was turning an intriguing shade of puce now, and Martha and the soldier were both suppressing laughter. Katherine decided to spare the poor officer his blood pressure.

"So what's this top-secret tech anyway?" she asked. "What could you possibly want a history geek like me for?"

The other scientist spoke for the first time.

"Time travel," he said. "You've been chosen to be our first long-distance human test."

Katherine stared at him blankly, feeling an overwhelming need to stop hallucinating. She pinched various places on her body, some of which had the men in the room turning away in disgust, and slapped herself a few times on the cheek.

"All right then," she said finally. "That's cool."

* * *

"So I guess I get a soldier assigned to save my sorry arse, huh?" Katherine asked. She, the soldier, and the scientists were waiting in the general's office as Martha set up her own office in order to examine the new time travellers.

"Apparently." The soldier gave her a long look; if Katherine had been anyone else, she would have felt uncomfortable with his scrutiny.

"Well, I'd apologize for my earlier generalizations, but you seemed to get a kick out of it." Katherine watched him, wondering whether he was going to smile again. He seemed rather unfriendly right now, actually. But the smile had looked natural on him, so...

"That's because they're true," the man said.

Katherine raised her eyebrows. "Considering I was calling soldiers dumb, that statement would seem to indicate a low level of self esteem. Should I be worried on your behalf?"

A small grin crossed the soldier's face. "Oh, don't worry. I'm new to this, and I plan on leaving it soon in any case."

Katherine nodded slowly. "All right then..."

Just then, Martha poked her head in and called for Private Smith. Katherine elbowed the soldier. "That you?"

"Is it?" he asked, seeming genuinely not to know. Then he stood abruptly. "Ah, yes. It is." He looked at Katherine again. "Well... It was... nice to meet you." He walked away, apparently not eager at all to be medically examined.

Maybe he had a fear of needles.

"Well, that was an extremely bewildering experience," Katherine muttered. Sighing, the woman settled in to wait for her turn when she realized something.

"General? When, exactly, are we going? I mean, what time is our..." She struggled to find the proper phrasing. "Destination?"

General Wilkins didn't look at her as he responded. "Within reason, Lieutenant –" Katherine flinched at the military title. "-that's up to you. We have compiled a list of historical occurrences which we would like you to investigate, but your only orders currently are to test the equipment and return. At least for this first trip, you must not get involved."

He made it clear that he'd rather send Katherine off on a suicide mission somewhere cold.

"Yes, sir. Thanks, sir," Katherine said cheerfully, managing to make each 'sir' sound not quite like an insult. She settled down in her chair again to wait.

Finally Martha called her in.

"So this is to make sure I don't kill anyone with a head cold, right?" Martha nodded in response. Katherine let out a long sigh. "Right."

Martha smiled slightly. "Frightened?"

Katherine laughed shortly, careful to keep still. "Of course. You couldn't tell before, though, right?"

"No; this is the quietest I've ever seen you, though." Martha looked at Katherine, frowning slightly. "You'll be all right? Do you want to back out or-"

"No!" Katherine exclaimed. "I'm fine! I mean – you'd never have guessed, right, if you had only been in there with the general and the others. So nobody needs to know that I'm about to wet myself – which I'm not," she added hastily. "I'm a good actress; I can handle it. I majored in Theatre, after all."

Martha laughed as she put away her medical supplies. "Really?"

Katherine nodded. "Really. Like I said before, right?" She hopped down from the table and walked to the door. "You'd never have guessed."

Katherine waltzed back into the general's office, knowing that her seemingly carefree attitude would annoy the uptight officer. Sure enough, he glared at Katherine as though she'd killed his mother. Grinning, she slowed her twirling and wandered over to the soldier, Mr. Smith.

"You're awfully happy for someone who's about to be the guinea pig for a time travel experiment," he noted.

Katherine smiled at him, trying to ignore the way her stomach seemed to think it could fly. "It never pays to panic. You don't seem terribly worried."

The private smiled, an odd almost-grimace. It was the smile of someone who's lived longer than they think they ought to; Katherine felt a chill of sorrow and fear.

"I've had experience. From what I've heard, all you've ever done is work at a desk."

Katherine shrugged. "And at theatres. I hide my fear well. Besides," she finished as she stood to approach General Wilkins once more. "Experience has got to start somewhere."

Each scientist held a watch-like object in either hand. They demonstrated how to program the devices to Private Smith and Katherine, as well as how to save a return date.

"So... for this first trip, anywhen?" Katherine verified cautiously.

General Wilkins nodded.

"Like... 1747 or so? I could go then?"

The general gave her an odd look. "Yes. It would be best if the time were recent, so if something goes wrong you won't have long to wait. Yesterday, perhaps."

Katherine ignored him. It hadn't _actually _been an order, after all. "And it doesn't travel in space?"

"Theoretically, it could," one of the scientists blurted. "We're still working on the equations to allow that, though."

"So I'd still be in Scotland? Good," Katherine nodded, tapping buttons on her own wrist. She glanced over at Smith, and grinned. If his face was anything to go by, he was the only one here who seemed to know his history. She reached over and punched a date into his 'watch'.

"Are you –" he began, but Katherine shushed him and went back in time.


	3. Chapter 3

Stumbling, Katherine was vaguely aware of movement somewhere in the trees. She retched into the undergrowth and wiped her mouth on her sleeve.

"Curse my impetuous nature," she muttered hoarsely.

One flash of blue light later, she wasn't alone.

"What was that? They may know nothing about history, but you know very well what was happening in this time, don't you?" Smith shouted angrily. "You don't have any experience with this. And you search for an adventure in a war?"

Interestingly, the time travel didn't seem to faze him at all.

"The war's over; Culloden was in 1746. And try to sound a wee bit more Scottish, would you?" Katherine said, dusting off the mental place where she kept her accents and testing out her Scottish. She waved a hand at the forest in front of them. "I think we're about to have company."

As if on cue, a trio of men burst onto the scene. One, the youngest, stepped forward warily.

"Who are you?"

Katherine blanched. Up until now, she hadn't quite believed anything that was happening. But now she was in an eighteenth-century forest, talking to eighteenth-century men. They were clearly Jacobites, too, even if Culloden was over; they obviously hadn't expected to find anyone here, and weren't doing a very good job of hiding their fear.

"I – My name's Katherine McIntire, and this is..." she trailed off, realizing that she'd never caught Smith's full name.

"John Smith," the soldier said, watching the man who'd spoken with a wistful smile.

The Scotsman frowned slightly. Katherine smiled as she examined him. His floppy brown hair and puppy-dog like eyes made him look rather adorable, not that Katherine would ever admit to thinking such a thing.

"Are you English, searching for Highlanders to murder?" another man asked suspiciously, holding a weapon in one hand.

Katherine scowled at the suggestion of violence. "The Jacobite Rebellion wasn't an Anglo-Scottish conflict," she blurted without thinking. "Not really."

Everyone stared at her blankly.

"And I'm a woman," she added hastily. "Not the sort of person typically employed by the English army, you know." She tugged on the hem of her black skirt, wishing she'd worn one a bit longer. Why did she own so little that was plaid? For that matter, why did she never think these things through?

"Do any of you know a man called the Doctor?" Smith asked calmly.

"Why do you ask?" Puppy Dog Eyes asked.

Smith smiled. "I just... would like to know what you remember."

"Excuse us for a moment," Katherine said quickly. She grabbed Smith's arm and dragged him away. "What are you doing?" she hissed.

The man bounced on the balls of his feet and grinned, looking happier than he had all day. "Come now, surely you've heard of the Doctor? You do work for UNIT, after all."

"I've heard of him," Katherine muttered. She hated to admit a lack of knowledge.

"But you don't know anything about him?" he asked carefully.

Katherine shook her head, scowling.

"That's... good, actually," Smith said. "Maybe you'll be safe. They probably didn't tell you because of the nature of this... assignment. Would they call it a project?"

Katherine could only shrug.

Smith abruptly pulled out a metal stick with a green light on the end, pointing the light end at Katherine's 'watch'. When it made a strange buzzing noise, Katherine tried to jerk her hand back, but Smith held on for a few more seconds before slipping it into his pocket once more.

"What was that noise?" she demanded, glaring, as the Highlanders came over to investigate.

"Oh, just a sonic screwdriver. Don't worry about it. It's harmless, and you probably haven't got the clearance to know about it."

Katherine blinked, taken aback. "So... It's a screwdriver... that makes... noise?"

Smith stared at her for a long moment. "Do you know, I think you may be the first person to understand that?"

"Really? It's quite simple, I mean –" Katherine shook her head. "Point being, what exactly is it doing here? And now?"

He held it up in front of his face and frowned. "Oh, no. That's not good..." Lowering the device, he said, "Apparently, it's not doing anything at all."

Katherine stared blankly at him. "Then what's the point of it?"

"Well, it's definitely supposed to do _something,_" Smith said. He pointed it at Katherine. "It still works on other things; it just won't register with that..." He pointed suddenly at the 'watch' on Katherine's wrist. "Try to go back."

"What?" Katherine whispered angrily. "We just got here, now you want me to go back? I've waited forever for something like this; this is the key to my life's work, for the love of John Lennon! I'm not about to go back now!"

Smith's voice was quiet and cold. "If I'm right, you don't have to worry about going back. Ever."

The fight left Katherine in a heartbeat. "You mean it won't work."

He nodded.

"Excuse me," Puppy Dog Eyes interrupted before the truth of Katherine's isolation could really sink in, "but if you're not here to kill us or turn us in, what are you doing here?"

"We were just exploring," Katherine said. It was true, for the most part. "Trying to find a way back."

"Back where?"

Katherine and Smith exchanged a quick glance. "Home," Katherine said.

"Are you in hiding from the redcoats, too?" Puppy Dog Eyes asked.

Katherine laughed. "Hell if I know. Doesn't matter, anyway. It'd be best not to speak to anyone, really, but that doesn't matter." She frowned, realizing that she had no idea who these men were, and that she was stuck here with them.

Oh, God, she was stuck here.

Doing her best to ignore her situation, Katherine asked, "And with whom do I have the pleasure of speaking, anyway?"

The Scotsmen still looked concerned, but the oldest one gave her a warm smile.

"My name is Charles Cameron, lass. That's Colin Wallace and James McCrimmon."

"Jamie," Puppy Dog Eyes said, smiling kindly at her. Colin shot him a look, and the smile dropped.

"We don't mean to accuse you of anything, but it's important that you're not from the Highlands, or any clan we know. Whoever cast you out –"

"We didn't get 'cast out'!" Katherine exclaimed. "We just left, and now we can't get back!"

The men looked taken aback by her burst of anger.

"Where are you from? We could help you," Jamie offered.

"Oh, aye," Katherine scoffed. "That's a sound plan. Fugitives helping fugitives. Tell me, how many of you still wear your kilts, even with the ban?"

Charles looked at her coldly as Colin laid a hand on his knife once more. Jamie scowled as well.

"I'm sorry for trying to help you!" he snapped. "I only thought that it would be dangerous for you to wander about alone, especially now."

Katherine and Smith both stared at him like dogs watching a human with food.

"Dangerous?" Katherine echoed. Smith looked a bit put out that she'd stolen his line. "Why's that, then? Just the result of the rebellion, or is there something else?"

"Have you not heard? You really came to the mountains recently, didn't you?" Jamie asked. "There's a monster about. It's been taking men."

"Monster," Colin scoffed. "More like a couple of redcoats, preying on our fear and too cowardly to take us all on at once."

"Aye!" Jamie retorted. "And I suppose the thing that I saw was just a simple beast, and it was the redcoats that took Gregor?"

"What did you see?" Katherine and Smith asked in unison.

The two older Highlanders looked at them as though they were mad, but Jamie answered, "I've no idea what it was, but the beastie was at least six feet high, and standing on four legs, too! It looked like some sort of – of rhinoceros!"

"Oh, as though you've ever seen a rhinoceros, Jamie!" Colin roared with laughter.

"I have too!" he protested.

"When was this, then?"

Jamie blinked, uncertainty crossing his face. "Well, I couldn't say, really, but I know –"

"You're a good lad, Jamie, but you mustn't let your imagination control you so." Charles looked at Smith and Katherine and shook his head, smiling. "Do you know, he tells stories of giant crabs?"

"How extraordinary," Smith muttered tightly, paling. Katherine glanced at him, concerned.

"Aye, and don't forget the metal men, with the brains of men and bodies made of steel!" Wallace added, and the two men laughed at Jamie. He looked sad, but resigned, having clearly heard it before.

"Metal?" Katherine gasped. "And a human brain? Like the Cybermen?"

Jamie jerked his head up and stared at her. "Aye! That's what they're called!" He sounded like Katherine had helped him remember a faint, childhood memory. "How did you know?"

The other two men were still chuckling and not listening to a word Katherine or Jamie said, but Smith looked positively ill.

"Are you all right?" Katherine asked him. "You look sick."

"I'm fine," Smith ground out. He looked at Jamie. "You should probably leave."

"Nobody's going anywhere until you look less like you've seen a ghost," Katherine snapped, casting an apologetic glance at Jamie. "What's wrong?" Katherine felt a sudden burst of clarity. "Is it the talk of Cybermen? Were you with Torchwood? At Canary Wharf?" Part of her wanted to interrogate him about everything he knew of Torchwood, but a larger part recognised the general tactlessness of that idea.

"You could say that," Smith said, giving her an odd look. "But that was a long time ago. You don't need to worry; I'm fine."

"Well, you don't look it," Katherine muttered, resolving to keep an eye on him. She turned to Jamie. "Where did you say you saw this beast of yours?"


	4. Chapter 4

"It was here," Jamie said. He had led Katherine and Smith to the place where his fellow Highlanders had disappeared. His companions had muttered about fools' errands and redcoats, but they had followed nonetheless. "I went over there a ways, and when I came back McTavish was gone."

"Have you been using a lot of wood recently?" Smith called. He'd wandered a few feet away, hidden behind the trees.

"No, why?" Jamie asked.

"Well, it's just that you seem to be missing a few trees," Smith replied grimly. The others approached and stopped dead.

Just past the thickest foliage lay a field of tree stumps, each cut at roughly Katherine's eye level. The deforested area was gigantic – at least a third of the once-great forest, Katherine estimated. Even the grass and undergrowth looked dead. The ground was riddled with deep pits and piles of dirt.

"It looks like a dog went on a rampage with a chainsaw and some weed killer," Katherine murmured, earning odd looks from the Highlanders.

Finally, Smith turned away and said to Katherine in a low voice, "Let's see what we can do to get back."

Katherine gaped at him. Pulling him aside, she demanded, "How exactly do you propose we do that? Put all these lovely, renegade Scots to work fixing technology we ourselves haven't got a freaking clue about?"

"Of course not-" Smith began, but Katherine was only just getting started.

"And what are we to do about this? You just want to leave these people in trouble?"

"You're a historian," Smith said coldly. "Shouldn't you be more concerned about preserving the timeline?"

"I am. This never happened." Katherine stared at Smith, unwilling to concede anything to this man. "You seemed interested in solving this mystery earlier."

Smith avoided her gaze. "That was a mistake."

"A mistake," Katherine repeated flatly. "Look, Private, I don't give a damn what sort of traumatizing experience you had with a tree stump. Something's wrong, and we'd be wrong too if we didn't at least try to help fix it."

Angrily, Smith sputtered, "You think I – That's not it at all!"

"So you're not afraid, then?" she challenged. "You're a better actor than I ever was, then, because you're doing a damn good job of pretending that you are."

"Well, of course I'm afraid! Every time – _every_ time – I let someone come along, or let them work with me, they wind up hurt. They'd be better off if I never interfered, and here you are, dragging me into this again! I don't save people anymore!"

Katherine scoffed in disbelief and disgust. "So, basically, what you're saying is you're a selfish, cowardly tosser?"

"Yes, I – what?" Smith lost all of his steam in an instant.

"You don't want to let people in. Do they know what they're doing? Do they understand the risks involved?"

"Usually, I suppose, but I don't think –"

Katherine slapped him.

"Well, I doubt I'd ever 'follow' you, so you needn't worry on my account! Maybe it's worth the pain, Smith, to feel like you did something! Just maybe, you're terrified so you don't even want to try. You absolute bastard. It's not like your presence makes people want to help, you know. Some of us can care about others without your help. And even if it breaks you and me both, just think of who we might be saving."

Katherine was shaking with fury by the end of her speech. Smith was staring at her as though he'd never encountered such a reaction before.

It was an odd thought, but maybe he hadn't.

"Look," Katherine finished more calmly, aware of the curious men around them. "Maybe you're used to people who coddle you when you're sad, and scream at all the monsters, and pass you whatever you need. But you are not a superhero, and the last thing you will ever hear me say is 'Holy simpering sympathy, Batman!'"

She sighed heavily.

"You've got to earn it first."

Smith gaped at her for a few more seconds, which Katherine really wished he wouldn't do. She was already regretting her outburst, but it had to be said. Finally, Smith turned to Jamie and asked, "Did you hear anything?"

Jamie gave him a blank look. "What do you mean?"

"When he disappeared, did you hear anything?"

Katherine couldn't help it. She whooped loudly, punching the air.

* * *

The other Scots had returned to what passed for home, pleading disinterest in 'this madness'. The sun had begun to hide behind the trees, and Katherine wasn't entirely sure what she was doing.

Smith was in his element once he got going, flitting from tree stump to tree stump like the demented fairy of sci-fi, buzzing metal wand and all. Jamie followed him around, doing nothing to dispel the general air of puppy-dog-ness that Katherine was beginning to associate with the Scot. Smith would babble something that sounded incredibly technological and complex at Jamie, who would nod and reply with a comparison that was almost, but not quite, entirely unrelated to Smith's statement.

It was an interesting sort of symbiosis, to say the least.

It wasn't as though Katherine understood any of it, either. In fact she thought that Jamie seemed to grasp concepts very quickly, even though he probably hadn't had much of an education. It struck Katherine again just how little she knew about her new companions, with whom she'd most likely be spending the rest of her life.

To Katherine, this seemed to be something of a problem.

For her part, Katherine had combed every inch of the surrounding forest floor, drawing on half-forgotten summer camps in the "great Northwest" of America and blurry recollections of out-of-date field guides.

She was now intimately familiar with a variety of poop which could apparently be found in Scotland, but she remained no closer to understanding what had caused the destruction before her.

"Anything?" Katherine asked now, approaching the men.

"No," Smith replied grimly. "Just trees. No energy residues of any kind."

"I'm not even going to ask how you know that," Katherine muttered. She turned to Jamie. "And you? Apart from the obvious, is anything... off?"

"I couldn't find anything," Jamie replied.

Katherine sighed. "Great. Well, apparently someone needs to teach the local animals the science of latrines, but other than dung I've found absolutely nothing." She nudged a bit of the offending substance with the toe of her boot.

"What sort?" Smith asked.

Katherine blinked at him in surprise. "Erm... The smelly sort?" She wrinkled her nose, looking at the large, greyish pile in front of her. "I thought poo wasn't an appropriate topic to discuss with a woman. I'm pretty sure sexism's not anachronistic, at this point..."

Jamie and Smith were both ignoring her in favour of looking at the grey stuff with matching airs of confusion. Katherine thought that it was a little insulting to be less interesting than poop, but given the circumstances she supposed leniency was in order.

"I've never seen anything like this," Jamie said.

Frowning, Smith pointed his screwdriver at the pile. He snapped it back up, inches from his face, and squinted at the thing with an air of bemusement.

"It's not from any animal," he announced, to the astonishment of his audience. "There are minerals from the soil, and organic molecules – from the destroyed trees, I'd assume."

"Well? What does that mean?" Katherine prodded.

"It's waste from a spaceship."

* * *

Jamie, to his own confusion, wasn't particularly fazed by the idea of aliens nearby. It was worrying, but not terribly earth-shattering as long as they didn't try to take over the world – hopefully, these aliens could be deterred from reaching that stage.

He could tell that Katherine was stunned, though. The woman gawped at Smith, who was muttering something under his breath.

"Spaceship?" Katherine finally choked out. "As in, alien spaceship? How could we not know?"

"Well, you don't think you'd see a – a knight with a potato for a head walk into Glasgow," Jamie said. He wasn't quite sure where the example had come from, but he was positive that it made sense.

"No, I meant –" Katherine cocked her head and looked searchingly at Jamie. "You know, most people think of little green men."

"How many aliens are green?" Jamie retorted.

"Ah. Yes. Because armoured potatoes are realistic," Katherine muttered. "I just thought that- never mind."

"History has a habit of forgetting things," Smith added. Jamie felt his understanding of the conversation slip away again.

"Oi! It does not!" Katherine exclaimed, affronted for reasons Jamie could only guess at.

"Christmas in London," Smith shot back. "Were you ever there?"

"Aye, some of it –" Katherine answered.

"Was it ever a hoax, like they say, or not?"

Katherine scowled. "Point."

Jamie stared at them both. "You can't talk about Christmas when there are aliens loose, taking people! What does London have to do with any of this?"

"Absolutely nothing," Katherine told him.

"What-"

"We haven't got time for this. Where else did you find this?" Smith asked.

Katherine nodded to where the trees still stood, tall and strong and healthy. "By a shrub. Don't ask me what kind."

They approached the forest with caution. Jamie couldn't help but think about the last few times he'd come here. He hadn't mentioned it to Katherine or Smith, but every man who'd disappeared had one thing in common: they'd come to the forest with Jamie.

He hadn't told anyone, of course. By the time Jamie had realized it himself, the damage was done. Jamie still couldn't shake the feeling that this was all his fault and that he should have known better. Worst of all, Jamie was afraid he might be leading his newfound friends into danger.

Of course, Jamie couldn't exactly explain any of this to them or warn them away. Smith was now determined to figure out the answer to the mystery, and Katherine was definitely the most formidable woman Jamie could recall ever meeting.

"Is this it?" Smith asked, stopping. Katherine nodded and Smith aimed his – what was it? A screwdriver? – at the pile of slop.

"It's fresher," the other man announced. "Is there more?"

"Like smelly breadcrumbs," Katherine murmured. She led the way through the trees. "There's one over –" Her words cut off with a sudden squeak as she passed out of Jamie's view.

"Katherine!" Jamie cried. He and Smith scrambled forward. They froze when they reached the spot where they had last seen Katherine.

The woman was pressed up against a tree, fingers clutching at the bark. Before her, growling and snorting, stood a huge, scaly-skinned creature. It was shaped somewhat like a horse, if there were a kind of horse that had a three-foot-long protrusion from its skull and a severe under bite.

"Jamie," Katherine whispered, her voice cracking. She cleared her throat. "Jamie, I think I found your beastie."


	5. Chapter 5

"Why are you here?" Smith demanded. Panicked, Jamie clutched at the other man's arm.

"You can't try to reason with it!" Jamie moaned. Was he mad?

"Well, it's better than trying to kill it," Smith snapped back.

The thing had relaxed slightly, to Jamie's astonishment, and was now regarding them with what could only be described as confusion.

"Who are you?" it rumbled.

Jamie stared, clinging to Smith. "It talked! The beastie – Doctor, it spoke English!"

"Yes, I heard it, Jamie, thank you," Smith said irritably, then stiffened. "What did you call me?"

"Doctor," Katherine said softly, taking slow steps toward the others. "Smith, he called you Doctor." She looked from one man to the other. "Who is he, anyway?"

"I – did I?" Katherine and Smith nodded. Jamie felt absolutely mystified, and a little embarrassed. "I'm sorry. You are like him, though." Jamie looked at Katherine, feeling obligated to answer her. "The Doctor saved my friends and me once."

"Who are you?"

Jamie jumped. He clung to Smith tightly, having almost forgotten that the creature was there.

"My name is Katherine," the woman answered warily. "This is Jamie, and John Smith. Why are you here?"

The creature looked at the trio for a long moment. When Jamie started to fear for his life again, the thing finally sat down and responded.

"I am Xau," it said. "I am searching for the demon called Katie."

"You're an Ivedanv," Smith said. "Why look for one of your culture's demonic pantheon here? They come from far more advanced planets than this."

"Katie is of Earth," the beast said stubbornly.

Smith's eyes darkened. "Even so, why take the Highlanders? How could they lead you to her?"

"We take those who accompany McCrimmon."

Katherine and Smith both whirled to stare at Jamie, who looked at Xau in horror. "Why me? I haven't done anything to you! I don't know any woman named Katie!"

"Xau," Katherine said. She looked like she was about to be sick. "Xau, why would this Katie be with McCrimmon?"

"They are always together," Xau replied. "McCrimmon is her guard and she is his leader." Xau looked at Jamie once more. "Where is she?" he demanded.

"She's not here," Jamie said. "I told you, I don't know who you're talking about."

Xau began to growl again, but Smith interrupted. "Your species never travels alone; you're a slave race, bred to be dependent on your masters. Where are the Nilurn you came with?"

"I don't know any such being –"

"You're lying."

Jamie and Smith stared at Katherine. She must have been absolutely mad, staring resolutely up at a creature who could crush her with barely any effort. The only emotion Jamie could see on her face was disappointment.

"I'm an actress, Xau. And you know what? It's downright painful to see someone trying to act when they've got no clue what they're doing." She took a deep breath before continuing, "Xau, there is no Katie here. You've got the wrong McCrimmon, clearly. Please, return those men and go home."

"I must find the demon," was Xau's only response. Jamie was beginning to see how Xau was part of a slave species.

Katherine huffed. "All right, well, have fun with that." She turned away.

"Wait."

Katherine met Jamie's gaze, looking pale and more terrified than she had sounded when speaking to the alien.

"You are the female of your species?" Xau asked.

"Well, there's more than one," Katherine replied flippantly, facing the alien once more. "But yeah, I am what's colloquially referred to as a 'she.' Also a woman, a girl, or a lady; if you want to be vulgar about it, I have been called a bint or a bitch before as well."

"You accompany McCrimmon," Xau stated.

"Good job. You win the Captain Obvious Award, definitely," Katherine muttered, backing away from Xau.

"Katherine," Jamie began as she reached the men. She tugged on their sleeves.

"Talk later, escape now, all right?" she murmured. Xau stood slowly, growling.

"Run!" Smith cried, and Katherine and Jamie did as they were told.

* * *

"We need to get him out of here," Katherine panted.

"What?" Jamie and Smith chorused.

"Well, it's stalking – ow! – Jamie," Katherine explained, finding a tree branch with her head. "Smith, we need to take him with us. Wherever we're going... I'm guessing you have a way back, somewhere among all that trivia about previously unknown alien species."

"We can't!" Smith veered to the right sharply. Katherine and Jamie exchanged glances and followed breathlessly.

"We have to. Unless, of course, you want to condemn him to a life of solitude."

"I don't think –" Jamie began. Smith cut him off.

"Of course I don't want that! But the Nilurn have time travel technology, and it's clear that Xau is here on his master's orders.

"Time travel?" Jamie repeated, not feeling as surprised as he ought to be.

"We have more resources at home."

"You want to kill him," Smith said flatly.

Katherine halted, clearly shocked. "Of course not! I meant diplomats, and better ways to keep Jamie safe!"

"Well, don't stop running. The beastie's still behind us!" Jamie said, grabbing Katherine's hand and pulling. He could hear Xau's lumbering footsteps and his low, angry growl.

Katherine followed obligingly, still looking horrified. "I would never – such a blatant waste of life, over a mere _cultural _misunderstanding..."

"Ah-ha!" Smith crowed, no longer listening. "Hello, sexy!" He slowed, and Jamie could only stare as the object of their quest came into view.

It was a box.

Jamie gaped at the thing in astonishment. It was tiny and blue, with words written across the top. Jamie mouthed them slowly to himself as he deciphered them : 'Police Public Call Box.' For all that the box was incredibly out of place in the mountains, the sight of it was strangely reassuring to Jamie.

Katherine clearly didn't feel the same way.

"What are you doing?" she said as Smith unlocked the door. "Is that – That's from the bloody 1960's! What's it doing here?"

"Get in," Smith urged.

"Smith!" Katherine cried. "That thing's tiny!"

There was no answer.

"I'd rather be in there than out here," Jamie told Katherine. "Xau may go right by, at least."

Katherine groaned. "Fine." Together, they entered the box.

As soon as they entered, they froze in awe. Inside lay a vast room, painted in shades of blue and grey with blue lights on the walls. In the centre of the room lay a platform covered in bizarre rods and circles, which Smith was now pushing and pulling. A glowing column sticking out of the centre of the console began to move slowly.

"Yes, yes, it's bigger on the inside. Would one of you care to close the door?" Smith asked. Jamie did as requested and stepped toward the cylinder.

"It's called the TARDIS," Smith said in answer to the unasked question.

All of a sudden, Smith didn't seem like the right name for the man in front of Jamie – not that he had any idea what to call him instead.

A loud, wheezing noise filled the room, which began to shake. Katherine stumbled forward, clutching the edge of the console in poorly concealed panic.

"What's going on?"

"I'm taking you home," Smith answered.

Katherine stared at him. "So this is a time machine? _Your _time machine?" She was silent for a moment, surprising Jamie. Until now she'd had a witty, and often vulgar, response for everything. The silence didn't last long, though. Katherine asked, "How'd it get to the eighteenth century if you were in UNIT? Why randomly help test this equipment?"

The ghost of a smile crossed Smith's face. "Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey?"

"That's not an answer and you know it. Who are you, really?"

The noise and shaking slowed to a halt before Smith could answer. The man crossed the room and stuck his head out of the door.

"Ah," Jamie heard him say. "Hello, Martha."

* * *

Martha glared bitterly at Dr. Withers. "You should have figured out a way to track them before your first test," she said coldly.

The scientist squirmed under her gaze. "We didn't think Miss McIntire would be so – so wilful..."

Mickey snorted. He and the other scientist were at work trying to set up some manner of communication between the devices. "You should've paid more attention, then," he said.

Before Dr. Withers could respond, a loud sound filled General Wilkins' office. Martha and Mickey exchanged stunned glances. They would recognize that sound anywhere.

Sure enough, the TARDIS began to materialize. Filled with happiness and confusion, Martha approached it.

She was more than a little surprised, however, when the man who poked his head out proved to be none other than UNIT's missing soldier.

"Ah," he said sheepishly. "Hello, Martha."

"You – John Smith! Of course!" Martha exclaimed, rushing forward to hug the Doctor tightly.

He seemed less willing to be hugged than his previous incarnation, but Martha attributed that to nerves an the personality changes which Mickey had said came with regeneration.

"Doctor," Mickey said, smiling ruefully.

"Yes, it's me," the Doctor said awkwardly. "Hello!" He gave Martha the device from his wrist. "Here... I don't exactly have any use for this..."

"So, you're this Doctor guy?" Katherine had emerged from the TARDIS, looking supremely unruffled in spite of having just travelled through time in a blue box. "No wonder he reminded you of the Doctor. How come you didn't recognize him, Jamie?"

To Martha's surprise, an unfamiliar man stepped out of the TARDIS, looking bewildered. "The Doctor doesn't look like that!" he protested.

"Jamie, did I ever explain regeneration to you?" the Doctor asked.

"Well, there was hardly time to talk, was there, with you running about dressed like a woman and stealing contracts," Jamie said.

Martha tried to picture the Doctor wearing a dress, but something in her wanted to run away screaming at the thought.

"Hang on," Katherine said. She pointed at the Doctor. "You know Martha and Mickey, clearly. Let's say that, for whatever crazy, alien reason, they didn't recognize you. Why not announce yourself? Why use an alias? And Jamie!" Her voice rose, and she gestured at the man in question. "He's your friend, too! And you wanted to leave without him, knowing that – that Iva-whatever was after him!"

"Doctor?" Martha said, confused. It didn't sound like the sort of thing he'd do at all.

"I told you," the Doctor ground out quietly, "I don't save people anymore."

"Oh, yeah. What was your reasoning? That it hurt too much?" Katherine stalked forward, glaring. "Little bit counterintuitive, don't you think, Doc, leaving a man behind so you won't have to leave him behind?"

"Katherine, stop it," Martha began, but her friend ignored her.

"How many? How many of those people you were talking about are gone because you couldn't be bothered to hop around in time a bit?"

"Katherine, you don't know what you're talking about," Martha snapped, but the Doctor had had enough. He lunged for the device on Katherine's wrist, eyes glittering with sorrow and anger. She tried to jerk away, but he held on, pressing buttons feverishly.

"Then save him," the Doctor said. "If you're so clever, save him."

Katherine disappeared, and the fragile, stunned silence collapsed.

_An: Feel free to review... Seriously, it feels nice to have feedback... You can just leave something incredibly short and simple, really, I don't mind as long as you leave something..._


	6. Chapter 6

Katherine found herself groaning on an unfamiliar metallic floor. Her headache, which had been sneaking up on her ever since she arrived in 1747, was definitely not lessened by the growing rumble around her.

She realized, in the still-hazy part of her mind of mind that governed survival, that rumbling noises were not typically a good sign.

Pulling herself to her feet, the Doctor's words echoed in her mind. "Save him."

Glancing around and trying not to eject her stomach through her mouth, she saw a boy dressed in yellow and green, clutching a bit of fabric as he stared up at something in sorrow.

Barely aware of her own actions, Katherine lunged forward and clung to the stunned boy.

"Hi there," she said as she pressed the button that would take her home.

Everything went blue, for just a moment, and the last thing Katherine saw before the world went away again was a spaceship, disintegrating around her and granting her a momentary view of Earth.

* * *

Another flash, and Katherine and the boy were crouched in General Wilkins' office. Katherine let go of him and collapsed, groaning. Slowly, everyone stopped shouting and watched the Doctor.

"Adric," he breathed.

Katherine remembered that she was mad at the Doctor.

"Were you trying to kill me or what?" she snapped, staring at the ceiling. "Now, I've got no clue what was going on, but the weird noise and the whole 'save him' bit lead me to think that whatever just happened isn't about to appear in a travel magazine."

"I made sure you'd have enough time to come back," the Doctor said. Katherine cut him off; she'd had enough.

"Funny, your saying that to me. Have you noticed? I'm kind of having issues with standing right now. The fact that my brain was functioning enough for me to perform my barnacle impersonation?" Katherine waved her hands aimlessly, but that took too much effort. She lowered them and enunciated her next words clearly.

"Total. Fluke."

Guilt took over the Doctor's face. He swallowed. "I'm sorry."

Katherine blinked at him. Was it normal for her eyelids to weigh tons?

"Do you know, Doctor, I almost believe that." She let out a bitter laugh.

"Doctor?" the boy Katherine had rescued said. Katherine felt sorry for him; she'd be absolutely paralyzed if this had happened to her.

Katherine continued, "I suppose I should apologize, too. You must have your good days; I mean, Martha likes you. And Mickey, but that's a less helpful indicator." Katherine fell silent, not really sure how to say what she needed to say next.

"For the record, we both suck," she said carefully, "but all things considered, it's probably best if you leave."

"Would someone explain to me what's going on?" the boy, Adric, asked.

Without another word, the Doctor re-entered the TARDIS.

"Doctor!" Adric cried. The TARDIS began to dematerialize, and Katherine felt like a despicable human being.

Again.

* * *

"Ow!" Martha was jolted out of her stunned state by a shock. She dropped the time travel device and stared at it warily, rubbing her hand.

"Martha? Are you all right?" Mickey asked.

"It sparked, and it shocked me." She crouched down to retrieve it. "What could have happened?"

Neither scientist had answers for her.

"Ah!" Katherine clapped a hand to her wrist, sitting upright. "Mine too," she announced, even though it was obvious to everyone what had happened.

The scientists dropped their devices hastily and stepped back. Everyone watched with bated breath.

Two identical sizzling pops came from the devices in rapid succession.

"Not a design flaw, then," Martha muttered.

Katherine was turning hers over in her hand, examining it closely.

"I think it did this in '47," she announced.

"What do you mean?" Martha asked, not really sure what the significance of the number was.

"In the past," Katherine explained. "I was busy emptying my gut, but I think it sparked." Katherine scowled at the device in her hand. "Traitor. That was right before it stopped working, too."

"What if something's interfering with it?" Mickey asked. "We all saw it work just now."

Katherine stiffened, locking eyes with Jamie. "Xau."

"What?" Martha asked, confused.

"An alien," Katherine explained. "The reason we dragged Jamie along. Jamie, do you think that could be it?"

"I don't even know what those things are," he replied, nodding to the time travel devices. "But aye, I suppose it's possible."

"Considering the trees," Katherine said cryptically. "Anything's possible."

"McIntire, what are you on about?" General Wilkins growled, surprising Martha. She'd forgotten that the officer was there.

"In the eighteenth century, there was thing, an alien, called an – an Ivedanv?" she asked Jamie, who indicated his lack of knowledge. "Anyway, he was named Xau, and he was stalking Jamie, looking for some demon or something from his religion. She's supposedly called Katie, and yeah. Before you ask, I used to go by that nickname." Katherine looked odd without some sort of smile on her face; Martha had never seen her so solemn and hoped that she never would again.

"And you said something about trees?" Martha asked.

"There was this huge swath of chopped-down trees, and the ground – it just looked dead. We think they destroyed it all for their ship."

"'We' being you and this man," General Wilkins said sceptically.

"His name is Jamie McCrimmon," Katherine told him.

"From the seventeenth century," the general said placidly.

"Eighteenth!"

The officer ignored Katherine. "If, as you say, this creature was following Mr. McCrimmon, why did you bring him here?"

"I didn't think they could follow us!" Katherine said in clear exasperation. "Pardon me for thinking that UNIT was better equipped to deal with this than Scottish fugitives."

Martha stepped forward to intervene, but before she could say anything the lights went out.

Someone – probably Mickey – swore, and Martha fumbled for the small torch she kept with her. She tried to turn it on, but it, too, was dysfunctional.

"They must be very well-off slave," a man's voice said. It was Jamie, Martha realized.

"Slaves?" Katherine said, sounding puzzled.

"Aye. Didn't the Doctor say they were slaves?"

Martha stiffened. "I'm beginning to think it's not your friend Xau who's after us."

"Oh," Katherine said. "_Oh._ I don't suppose anyone has inexplicably developed the ability to walk through walls?"

"They're not at the door yet," Jamie pointed out reasonably. "We should get ready for when they find us, or leave."

"I'm not going anywhere until someone explains what's happening," another voice said. Martha's eyes had finally adjusted, and she saw that it was the boy Katherine had rescued, Adric.

"Oh, man," Katherine said softly. "Can we talk and walk? It's a longer story than I feel comfortable telling in here."

"All right," Adric said grudgingly.

"Good. Let's get out of here," Katherine said, getting to her feet and moving toward the door.

"McIntire!" General Wilkins called.

Katherine stopped with her hand on the doorknob. "That is, if my lovely superior officer will grant us permission."

"Leave the building as fast as you can, both you and Mr. McCrimmon," the man ordered, sounding smug about having regained control.

"And do what? Go into Aviemore? We've got no clue what they'll do to people who get in their way!"

"Are you questioning an order, Lieutenant?"

"Are you so dense you honestly can't figure that out yourself?" Katherine replied.

You can still get out of UNIT, though. There are people here with no idea what's going on," Mickey said quickly.

"All right," Katherine took a deep breath. Glancing back at the others in the room, she gave them a shaky smile. "See you soon."

Katherine wrenched the door open and disappeared down the corridor, pulling Jamie along behind her.

"Good luck," Martha whispered.


	7. Chapter 7

Katherine wasn't sure where she was going. She attempted to recall the way to her office and lead Jamie out from there, but somewhere she took a wrong turn and wound up near where Mickey usually worked.

"Damn," she said, pausing to catch her breath. "Where did I need to turn?"

"Katherine!" Jamie pulled at her arm and she straightened. Swallowing a shriek, Katherine stepped closer to Jamie instinctively.

A thin, tall humanoid smiled down at them with a mouth full of pointed brown teeth. It was incredibly beautiful, actually, with an androgynous silhouette and pinkish hair.

"Katie. At last, the Nilurn can destroy the demon that has haunted us from the beginning."

Katherine squinted up at the alien, debating the wisdom of what she wanted to say. Screw it, she thought, she was probably about to die anyway.

"Do all aliens talk like they're from some geeky fantasy game, or is it just the ones from your planet?"

The Nilurn looked at her with contempt, obviously thinking, _This is the creature that we're trying to kill? She's worthless._ Katherine felt a little annoyed by that, but with any luck it would decide she wasn't worth the effort and then leave.

To Katherine's dismay, a second Nilurn approached and effectively destroyed that train of thought. It was holding a struggling, yellow-and-green bundle of – was that Adric?

The first one looked a tousled, angry Adric over and smugly said, "Come with us and we will release him."

"I thought you were back there!" Katherine gestured in the general direction of Wilkins' office.

"You promised me an explanation," Adric said.

Katherine gaped at him, stunned by his courage and obstinacy. "You've got balls, kid," she murmured in awe.

If the expressions on the other humans' faces were anything to go by, the only one who understood that idiom was Katherine herself, but she didn't bother to explain. It was nice to feel as though you knew more than anyone else, she reflected. In any case, testosterone and slang were hardly the most important things on her mind right now.

"First of all," she said to the Nilurn, "I only just met Adric today, so he's a poor choice of hostage. Second –"

"But... you would do anything for the boy," the second Nilurn said, flawlessly vicious face scrunched up in confusion. "It is written."

"I'd do anything for Adric, huh? And Jamie's my guard? You know, it is bloody amazing," Katherine snapped, "how you people seem to know more about me than I do!"

She was interrupted by Jamie, who had drawn some sort of sharp, pointy weapon from its sheath as she and the Nilurn spoke. Jamie now charged the Nilurn, letting loose an inarticulate yell. (Although, he might have been yelling something Scottish. Katherine wasn't a linguist.)

Katherine hated violence, but she was grateful for the distraction. She snatched Adric up in the confusion and shoved him behind her.

"Run!" she told him. Looking back at Jamie, she hovered indecisively. Would he run, too? Or would he fight, and potentially die?

Katherine settled for calling, "Come on!" and taking off, hoping that Jamie had a good sense of self-preservation.

She flew around corners, almost smacking into multiple walls. Adric glanced at her as she caught up to him.

"Where are we going?" he panted.

"Good question," Katherine replied. She saw an alcove which hid a nondescript brown door and almost cried with relief.

"In here," she said, tugging Adric into the dark room.

"Where are we?" he asked.

Katherine grinned. "Even military facilities need water coolers for their employees to gossip around. This is the break room." She shoved the water cooler in question aside and knelt down.

"Also," she grunted, tugging at a bump in the wall, "military equals paranoid." With a final heave, she managed to pry a panel out of the wall, revealing a crawl space big enough for two people. She gestured to it. "Get in. It's safe."

"Your plan is to hide?" Adric asked incredulously even as he obeyed.

"Hey, don't knock it," Katherine replied as she clambered in after him and pulled the panel up to cover the hole. "Hiding is as old as life itself. Clearly, it's even a standby for the military."

"Do I at least get that explanation now?" Adric asked. "What did you say to the Doctor?"

Katherine ignored the accusation in his voice and considered how she was going to explain.

"Well, this morning things were normal. I thought the Doctor was just another soldier. And then – well, UNIT's working on time travel, so he and I went to 1747. We met Jamie, who'd met the Doctor before. Can the Doctor, I don't know, change his face?"

Adric nodded.

"Oh. That makes a whole lot more sense now. Anyway, the Doctor didn't want to help at all, because he was afraid of hurting people or leaving them behind or something, and I guess that was the first thing that made me mad.

"Then, as it turns out, Jamie was one of those people the Doctor was so freaked out about, and so were Martha and Mickey. I'd have been fine with it, fine with _him_, maybe, if he hadn't spent all of our time in the past trying to get Jamie to leave. On top of that, he didn't even reveal himself to Martha or Mickey."

Katherine closed her eyes, recalling everything she'd spat at the Doctor.

"I snapped again. The Doctor – he must really be screwed up right now, and I probably didn't help any – sent me to you. Then you caught our last, um, squabble."

Katherine eyed Adric warily, waiting for him to get angry. She deserved his resentment, really; Katherine hadn't meant to be so cruel, but she had hurt multiple people nonetheless.

"I still don't forgive you for what you said to him," Adric warned her. Katherine almost smiled at the lack of confrontation in his voice.

"I understand. But we can work together for a bit, aye?"

Adric agreed, and Katherine sighed, relieved. She didn't really want an upset boy glaring at her until she died. Or until the aliens went away, but that wasn't looking likely.

From outside their hiding place came the shouts of Nilurn and UNIT soldiers.

"Adric?" Katherine asked suddenly.

"What?" he whispered back.

"Look, I get why you don't like me. Right now, I don't like me. But from what I've gathered, the Doctor doesn't always come back with any sort of speed or urgency. I thought that you might be here a while."

"What does that matter?" Adric asked.

"Well, I might be able convince the general to let you work on the time travel with me. You could stay here... At least until the Doctor comes back," Katherine added hastily. "I just don't know how we'd send you home, so I thought that might work."

"Just until the Doctor gets back," Adric agreed.

Katherine smiled. The twerp was starting to grow on her, after all. Like she'd told him, he was impressively (weirdly) brave.

"Hey! I think the coast is clear," she realized. "Or clear-ish."

"Let's go, then."

Cautiously, they climbed out of their hiding place.

"I can find the exit from here," Katherine told Adric. "Once we get out, look for grey, smelly glop. It'll lead us to their spaceship." She glanced out of the break room and led the way down the corridor.

"Why are we going there?"

"What, do you want to hide for the rest of your life?"

"Are you planning to attack them somehow?" Adric asked as they ducked into a cubicle.

"Of course not!" Katherine was scandalized. "Violence is never the answer. We're merely going to... offer them an ultimatum, you might say." They dashed out again. Katherine really, really hoped that the Nilurn couldn't hear heartbeats.

"You're surprisingly like him," Adric muttered.

Katherine gave him a confused look as they hurried past where she worked.

"Who am I like?"

"The Doctor," Adric explained.

"I am not!" Katherine said, feeling offended.

"Katherine?" a man called. Katherine turned, preparing to run away.

"Mickey!" she cried in relief. "Martha!"

"Why are you still here?" Martha asked.

Katherine grimaced. "I, um, got lost. Have you seen Jamie?"

"We thought he went with you," Mickey answered.

"He did, but right now it's just me and Adric," Katherine said. She bit her lip, envisioning various painful things that could be happening to him right now. "Come, on, we've got to get to the Nilurn's spaceship!"

"Why?"

"Er... I hadn't thought that far ahead."

"We'll probably be able to shut the dampening fields down from there," Adric offered.

Katherine stared at him in awe. "Adric, you're brilliant!" she cheered. "Come on, hurry!"

Once they finally made it out of the compound, Katherine didn't even have to look for spaceship 'dung'. A long, black cylinder lay on its side directly outside the doors to the offices. Katherine scanned the smooth surface for openings.

"Over there," Martha said, pointing. There was a thin crack, forming an oval shape that could easily be the outline of a door.

"How do we get in?" Katherine asked softly, laying a hand upon the surface of the door. A high-pitched hum began and the oval slid aside silently.

"Ah. That's how," Katherine said. She looked at her friends. "Well? Come on, don't just stand there uselessly!"

* * *

The Nilurn were all apparently inside the UNIT compound, leaving Ivedanvs like Xau behind to take care of their ship's security.

Thankfully, Xau seemed to be one of the more intelligent ones; the gigantic, horse-like aliens had a spectacular habit of forgetting to look _down._

They developed a routine as they worked their way through the ship. Katherine or Adric would open the door and they would crouch behind the wall as an Ivedanv came to investigate. Mickey had inadvertently discovered early on that if you hit one of the aliens at the base of their 'horn,' they would invariably be knocked unconscious.

"I still don't get why you threw that bottle of vinegar at him," Katherine hissed as they scurried toward the end of the ship in the hopes of finding the control room. "Why do you even have a bottle of vinegar with you?"

"You never know when it'll come in handy!" Mickey defended. "Besides, it was a better idea than crawling under them!"

"It worked in the Odyssey!" Katherine frowned. "Although, it was more like clinging to them. And they were sheep..."

Adric, leading the way, shushed him as he halted. "I think it's here," he whispered.

"How do you know?" Katherine asked.

In answer, Adric pointed. Around the corner and down the corridor, four Ivedanvs were stationed, looking particularly fierce.

"Shit," Katherine murmured. She briefly debated asking Mickey whether he had any more random, heavy objects with him.

"Has Xau contacted the Council?"

Katherine stiffened. Of course, words would be the best weapon. If she just listened...

"Our masters have abandoned him," a second Ivedanv said bitterly. This one was bigger and less stocky than the others Katherine had seen; maybe it was a female? "And he is still loyal to them."

"And you still refuse to join us unless he also supports our cause," the third one grumbled.

Katherine's eyebrows explored her hairline. Was there a rebellion brewing, guarding the very heart of the oppressors' ship?

It was rather poetic, really. If Katherine were a writer, she could make something from this to rival Dante. As it was, Katherine was very good with improvisation, especially when she needed to manipulate her audience emotionally.

"We should at least help them capture Katie," the fourth said. He was probably the moderate one in the party. "She is no friend to us."

Katherine could definitely work with this.

"Did the Nilurn tell you that?" she asked in her snobbiest Standard British accent, standing up and walking toward them as though she did this every day.

"Who are you?" the probably-female one asked.

Katherine pasted on her most benevolent smile. "Do you know, your friend Xau asked me that same question this morning. Although, it was technically over two and a half centuries ago, wasn't it?"

"You're Katie!" the moderate one said fearfully.

"Oh, no, please!" Katherine said, as though they were walking away instead of pointing their 'horns' directly at her chest. "Please. I mean you no harm."

They watched her warily.

"I just want the Nilurn to return to their home, without a fight," she said truthfully. "I am no demon, not to you. If you let my friends and I in the control room, I swear I will deny only the Nilurn their goals." They didn't look convinced, so Katherine thought about what little she knew of the myths centred around her.

"I swear on Adric's life, I have no ill intentions toward you," she tried.

That seemed to do the trick. The female stepped aside first, and the others slowly followed suit.

Katherine beckoned to her companions, silently grateful that Adric's name in the Nilurn myths wasn't something really weird.

"Mickey, I need to get a message to the Nilurn," Katherine said. "Adric, you said you could disable whatever's keeping the power off? I need you to get that ready, but don't do anything with it yet." She looked at Martha. "Um. You can just... help?" Katherine frowned; what did she need? "Can you just chat with the Ivedanvs? Friendliness is good."

Mickey was frowning at a computer console. "I can broadcast your voice. Do you need video?"

"No, that's fine. Adric? Ready yet?"

The boy was staring intently at the controls in front of him. "Almost got it... I can do it this time..."

Katherine gave Martha a smile that was closer to a grimace and looked over Mickey's shoulder.

"Got it," Mickey announced; Adric echoed him a few seconds later. Katherine took a deep breath, clutching the edge of the console for support.

"Turn it on," she told Mickey.

"Hello there, my dear Nilurn! If you're looking for me, I'm on your ship. You might consider investing in a better security system. I'm told dogs work very well.

"You may be wondering, why make this announcement? After all, you guys have control of this little corner of UNIT right now.

"See, the thing is, I've discovered you can do a lot from here. For one, I can talk to you. Another one of the things I can do from here is take down your dampening field. Obviously, this isn't a very good thing for you.

"So here are your options: One, you come back to this ship right now, I leave, and you go home. Two, you stay there, in which case the dampening field will be taken offline and you'll contend with armed, angry humans."

Katherine sighed, letting go of her 'I-don't-care' pretence and slumping over the controls. The Nilurn couldn't see her, anyway.

"I swear to you, I don't want you to have to fight. If I could, I'd tell them not to hurt you. The problem is, I'm just Katherine McIntire, that chick who uploads old files to the computer. You know how I'm this scary demon? I'm mild, unintimidating, compared to these soldier freaks. So unless you want to fight for your lives, I think it's time you went home."

There was a tense silence when Katherine finished her speech. Adric's hand hovered over the button that would restore power to UNIT; he looked pale. Everyone, human and Ivedanv alike, waited for some form of answer without breathing.

One of the Nilurn managed to figure out the UNIT communications technology, apparently, and from it came a crackling reply.

"We shall return. Should any of your forces remain on board the ship when we return, they will die."

Katherine let out an exhilarated laugh. "Yes!" she shrieked before turning the broadcast back on.

"Also, if you could pick up poor Xau from the past, that'd be great."


	8. Chapter 8

"Oh, my lord. We're still alive... We did it!" Katherine babbled, breathless with relief. She turned to the guards, still standing silently by the door.

"Don't let them keep you in the dark," she told them. "I wish you all the possible luck!" She followed her friends, giddy with success and a sudden lack of fear.

Once out, she did a quick headcount. Relief turned to worry when she realized that Adric had disappeared at some point. Before she could descend too far into panic, though, he clambered out of the ship. Smiling through smudges of grey glop and engine grease, he held out a handful of small squares for her inspection.

"Translation," he explained as Katherine scolded him. "For when you travel to other countries." Martha and Mickey watched, smiling; finally Katherine just prodded him a few times on the shoulder and led the way back into the UNIT compound.

"Oh, don't tell me I missed it all?" a new voice said.

"Jamie!" Katherine shrieked, flinging herself at him and hugging him tightly. She stepped back to survey him critically. He looked bruised and a little cut up, but happy; Katherine could expect no less from a Jacobite piper.

"You didn't kill anybody, did you?" Katherine asked with mild reproach.

"No," Jamie told her. "I just taught them to respect Scotland."

Katherine smiled. "Good. You probably helped a lot, actually; thank you." She punched him on the shoulder lightly, to his obvious surprise. "And I don't say that often, so mark this occasion!"

* * *

"Thank god we didn't miss the train," Katherine said fervently as she, Jamie, and Adric stumbled wearily into her flat. "Am I correct in thinking that here's a better place to sleep than UNIT?" The other two managed weak smiles.

Katherine unlocked her door and surveyed her flat critically.

"I have one extra bed, second door on the left. And for the other one of you... Well, I've got the beanbag, but it's probably not the best thing for sleeping on. I guess the couch works; it's pretty wide and squishy." She sat on the couch in question for a moment, grinning slightly at the looks on Jamie and Adric's faces. Apparently, they weren't used to furniture that looked like a half-digested rainbow.

"Come sit for a bit," she said tiredly. "We don't have to figure it all out just yet." The others needed no further urging to join her, not even bothering to preserve any sort of personal bubble. Katherine's arm wound up on Jamie's lap, and even Adric got his feet tangled with hers.

Yawning, Katherine began to plan aloud. "We should probably figure out what to say to rest of UNIT about you two. Wilkins wants me to move offices, I think..."

As she rambled about getting twenty-first century identification for Jamie and Adric, Adric's head nodded every so often. At first Katherine wondered why he was being so agreeable; it was only when his head thudded onto her shoulder that she realized he was falling asleep. Grinning, she wriggled her shoulder so it wouldn't go numb and continued to babble.

Somewhere in between wondering aloud how long the Doctor would take to come back for Adric and suggesting the recruitment of Martha and Mickey for the time travel project, Katherine fell asleep.

The next morning, they were piled on top of one another on the couch when they woke up. No one mentioned it as Jamie and Adric acquainted themselves with Katherine's apartment.

After all, they had saved each other's lives. Accidental cuddling was something of an occupational hazard.

_AN: Wow! It's done! There will be another story, hopefully within the next week; if you care enough to read the sequel, look for "The Military Types" to show up soon. It won't feature the Doctor at all, but it will have Jamie, Adric, Martha, and Mickey. Like I said, this is more a spin-off than a fanfiction. The other stories will be a bit more than half this length.  
Feel free (meaning, do it or else) to let me know what you liked about this and what you think could be better. I'll use that when I write the other stories in this series.  
...Dang. I had something to say here... In any case, thanks to everyone who read to the end! _


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